Seems pretty obvious, right? So why doesn’t rousing success happen like clockwork for every passionate and driven entrepreneur out there?
Too many of us are far too into our heads and become our own personal roadblock. Getting stuck in your own ego and fear is probably the single biggest dream-killer there is.
And the worst part is that we do it to OURSELVES.
This entrepreneurial gig isn’t for everybody. Basically, you signed up for a 24/7 sales job, whether you knew it or not. And to carry it off with any success, you’ve got to be passionate. You need to be confident and believe in yourself. You can’t take things too personally. And you can’t let the banter in your head stop you.
The good news is that you can stop letting your head rule your life at any time. And I’m going to show you how.
I’m going to share a few mindset hacks that’ll help clear your mind, build real confidence, and get you out of your own way. It just takes a little bit of practice and a lot of consistency. But it’s totally doable. And MORE than worth the effort.
So let’s stop thinking and start BEING. Starting right NOW!
Step #1: Confidence comes first. Until you can be confident in who you are and what you do, nobody else is going to have confidence in you. It’s up to you to get that ball rolling, so do it however you can. One of the most powerful confidence-builders I know is saying affirmations.
I know, you’ve heard that before. Maybe you’ve even tried affirmations and you’re convinced that they’re all a bunch of self-help nonsense. I get that. But most of us miss the bus on affirmations because we only SAY the words. But the truth is that you’ve got to actually FEEL the words, too. It’s about getting yourself to a place where you actually believe what you’re saying, not only in your head but also in your heart.
Start with three affirmations that you can believe in your head and in your heart right NOW. Allow yourself to feel them completely and grow into them. Once you’ve done that, start expanding your affirmations to reflect the person you want to be. See and feel yourself as that person. And adjust your daily affirmations to match your feelings and your vision.
Step #2: Getting out of your head and into the world. Have you ever been so worried about what you were going to say next that you didn’t say anything at all? Or so hung up on what other people might think of you that you didn’t take action on a great idea? That’s what I mean by getting stuck in your head. If you can get out of your head and into the real world, amazing things will start happening for you. But if you get stuck in fear, ego, and mind-chatter, you just might miss out on a million dollar deal.
With my last company, FITzee Foods, I managed to get all of my meal replacement bars and prepared meals into Vitamin Shoppe. How did I make that happen? It all started when I saw one of their major buyers at one of the biggest trade shows in the country, Expo West in Anaheim,CA. When I saw someone I knew I wanted to meet, what did I do? Simple. I just walked up to him and started a conversation.
I didn’t hesitate, I didn’t agonize over what to say, and I didn’t worry about what he might think of me. I saw someone I wanted to talk to, I walked right up to him, and got the conversation started. And it resulted in a great partnership, and a relationship that is still going strong, and yes, a million-dollar deal. True story.
Now, I didn’t acquire that skill overnight. I got good at it because I simply practiced it. I practiced by getting out into the world and starting conversations with all kinds of people. I built that confidence muscle so that the “heavy lifting” of connecting with influencers and asking for the order became a walk in the park.
You have to get over yourself. And the best way to check your ego at the door, stop worrying about outcomes, and get confidence in yourself is to practice. Practice having real conversations with real people no matter where you are. At the car wash. In line at Starbucks. Or at 30,000 feet.
Does the thought of starting conversations with a random stranger seem as scary as singing on national television? It doesn’t have to be. You don’t have to have a plan or the perfect opening line. When you see somebody, just say something. Anything!
Mel Robbins recommends counting backwards to yourself: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1….and then saying anything at all to the next person you see. And it’s a perfect way to give yourself a setup, hold yourself to it, and start talking.
The more you practice this, the faster you’ll be able to get out of your head and into the moment. It will help you stop overthinking what you’re going to say, worrying about how the other person might respond, and freaking out about the eventual outcome. Right now it’s not about where a conversation goes or how it ends. It’s about giving the conversation a chance to start.
But everybody is into their texting, Tweeting and snapchatting, you might say. How do you tear someone away from their screen long enough to talk to them?
Sorry, folks. That’s not an excuse. Here’s why: people still want human connection. As a salesperson & an entrepreneur, you need to be able to create it. And if you can manage to pull someone away from Instagram long enough to start a real conversation, you’re going to be an amazing salesperson & entrepreneur! Don’t make that excuse. Accept the challenge.
Let me share something that happened recently. I was standing in line at Starbucks and noticed that the woman in front of me had the coolest shoes. She was all wound up in the world inside her smartphone, but that didn’t stop me. I simply said, “Wow, you have amazing shoes!” And she got out of her own head, put the phone down, and said, “Thank you!” From there we actually started an “IRL” conversation. Cell phone free.
Best of all, it wasn’t like I was trying to come up with an opening line. All I was doing was simply noticing something cool, handing out a genuine compliment, and being my authentic self. That’s what happens when you take the time, notice what’s happening around you, and take authentic action. When you can bring someone back from cyberspace and out of their own heads, it’s a refreshing moment for them, too.
And like I said, you never know who you might connect with by showing up, having a little bit of courage, and saying something to someone.
Step #3: Changing your story. What ultimately happens when you start to get out of your own head? You start to change your thought patterns. With more practice, you start to rewire your brain in ways that support you rather than work against you. Let me share another example.
I have a colleague in real estate who manages to make contact with 40 people nearly every day. That’s 40 real conversations, not just 40 phone calls. But if you hear that and the first thing you tell yourself is, “there’s no way I could do that”…then you’re probably right.
What I mean is that trying to tell yourself something is impossible, then you’re going to see evidence that it’s impossible. Stories in your head are going to create a self-fulfilling prophecy.
But what if you started telling yourself a different story? If you start doing that now, those brain patterns will eventually catch up. What do I mean by telling yourself a different story? I mean getting yourself to a place where you can actually start believing that things will change for you. Even if you can’t believe it 100% right this minute, you can still start making shifts.
Try creating a new story with something small. For example, next time you go somewhere, anticipate that wherever you go, the perfect parking spot is going to open up for you. Anticipate that it’s a done deal, expect the result that you want to see, and don’t doubt the outcome.
Even if you don’t get curbside parking on your first try, keep believing that you will. Give thanks in advance. Then give even more gratitude when the result happens.
I know, it sounds a little bit silly. But the truth is that once you start rewiring your brain to receive one thing, you can apply the concepts to everything else. You’ll start to believe that you’re going to close 10 sales this month. You’ll start expecting that you’re going to make the right contacts at the right time. Once you discover your ability to make the little things happen, believing in your ability to make the big things happen will start coming naturally.
Step #4: Bring back the FUN! One of the biggest mindset hacks out there is to simply remember that being in business doesn’t have to be so serious! Allow yourself to actually enjoy this business of yours. Believe it or not, fun is another key to major success. And most of us don’t even consider it at all!
When I first started out in sales, I found myself getting far too into the “adulting” mode. Taking myself too seriously, being stern for the sake of seeming “professional”, and getting more hung up on the outcome rather than appreciating the process.
All of these things take the spontaneity, the anticipation, and the fun out of business. Not to mention getting you right back up in your worried adult mind again. And right back in your own way.
Not only does that put a damper on your spirits but also doesn’t help your sales. Who wants either one of those things?
Over the years I have allowed myself to be more playful, fun, and spontaneous. And it has ultimately made me more approachable, relatable, and likable. And it’s translated into more sales, too! Bringing back the “kid” in me has helped improve my client relationships as well as the bottom line in my business. And I know it will do the same things for you if you give it a chance!
So there you have it! Say your affirmations and feel them in your heart. Practice building your confidence by making real-world connections. Start telling yourself stories that build you up instead of tear you down. And bring back a little bit of FUN to your day.
This will lead to more confidence, more happiness, and ultimately to more sales.